I contemplated pluralizing that title, because every family is so very different in it's build and structure. I would like to share something that I was privileged to observe last week, and I would like to share some of my thoughts with you, and would love to hear your examples as well.
Brother Williams asked a group of students to go to a empty space in the class room and he asked that they hold hands and stand in a circle. As they stood there he asked that they extend their held hands and lean back into the circle they were making. This represented a family, there was a mother, father, and three children. Each had burdens that they carried and the family could feel when the burdens would become heavier. Brother Williams went to the mother and stood behind her as he put weight and pressure upon her shoulders, we watched as the rest of the family was taken off balance as she had the added weight upon her. They teetered and tottered, and had to regain their footing as they struggled to help hold up her weight. When the pressure from her shoulders was released they quickly braced and bettered their hand holds with each other.
Then it came to the father of the family, as Brother Williams placed pressure upon his shoulders, he explained burdens that were placed there, Worry about finances, pressure to be a good husband, a good father, and out side pressures from work were starting to become harder to bear. The family surrounding the father were once again unbalanced, but not like they were before. They did their best to be there for their beloved family member as the burdens were felt through out the family circle.
It came to be the daughter of the family's turn. As the weight began to be felt through out the circle, one of the brothers exclaimed, "Don't worry we got you!" and that time as her burdens were explained the family was stronger in supporting each other.
The burdens of each member of the family was explained and the family reacted the same each time, they compensated for the problems even though it hurt (as they explained to us later sometimes it was very painful) and they trusted each member of the family to support them.
This is an ideal, yet often times, one of our family members or even ourselves will let our grip slip as we struggle under the burdens we take upon our shoulders in this life of trials. When we see someone struggling in our families, sometimes it is hard to assist them because we are still trying to catch our balance from when they let go and that circle of support was broken, and we a lot of times we just do not know how to regain our lost footing.
I believe that if we try, and turn back again to each other we can become stronger because of those falls made. Take the bible story of the prodigal son and think about the family as he left, what did the mother feel, the father, the brother? All were effected and sometimes there is a reaction of anger. What do we do in situations where our loved one slips away from our hands?:
The best and most "perfect" family exists, and it does not mean that it always has to be a perfectly round circled family. The family is now made up of all sorts of compounds and that includes, divorce and remarriage, anger and forgiveness, abuse, unkind acts, same sex parents, death, sickness, and the list of the different family structures goes on. The family that strives to lift one another despite the loss of balance and order, The family with members who know the importance each member of the family including themselves is the family who will survive in this world of turmoil and grief. To be a family who reaches out to each other despite the burdens upon their own shoulders will be able to become a family who is stronger despite the loss of hand holds for a moment of time. Now really think about it, we have each seen within our families, or other families that surround us, examples of faith and lifting by the members in the family unit. Picture those families and think about those experiences you have watched. What makes them become stronger?
I hope you have related to the analogy shared here, I am wondering if you will share other experiences or thoughts on family structures with me?
That experience you had is class is a very valuable life lesson. We need to remember that we go through different trials in our individual lives, those around us could be going through something harder that may even have a great impact on us than our own problems. Family structures can change over time. I know my own family has experienced this as one of my brothers is out serving a mission while I am here at college and everyone else is still at home with mom and dad. Here's an interesting question: do you think we are influenced more by our family structure when we are young or when we are older?
ReplyDeleteAddison, I think that in development, we are hugely influenced while a child, by our family structure. But it is only when we are older and more independent of our family structure that we see the full impact of that structure. For in the laboratory of life it is only when we have our own family structure that we can assess the full impact of our primary family structure.
ReplyDelete-Misty's husband Jacob